In reality, most female friendships tend to be transitional rather than long-term. As we cycle through life---childhood, high school, college, marriage, children, careers, etc.---we change and grow as do our friendships...
With each of our friendships, there are seasons when our lives are more or less in-sync with one another. Also, there are times in our life cycle when we have more or less time and energy to commit to female friends. For example, it is generally easier to nurture friendships when when we are young, single, divorced or older than during the middle years when we are consumed with partners, careers, and caregiving.
To preserve good friendships that carry us during the tough times and over the years, women need to make their female friends a priority in at least three ways:
Contact
In case it isn’t obvious, to keep a friendship alive there needs to be mutual contact. Creating time and opportunity to share with each other enhances the intimacy and reciprocity of a relationship. Whether it’s a brief phone call, email, or cup of java, make time for friends, finding ways that are comfortable and doable for both of you. It’s an investment that will yield short- and long-term returns.
Communication
Every friendship ebbs and flows. Being able to express ourselves with authenticity and candor transforms good friendships into better ones. Friends need to be willing to be talk openly about their disappointments so misunderstandings aren’t magnified over time. We also shouldn’t be shy about expressing the warm and fuzzy sentiments—expounding on qualities and virtues we value in each other.
Concern
Good friends care about one another: Good friendships flourish when people care and show they care. Try to listen as much as you speak. Extend your hand to help whenever there’s an opportunity.
While we can’t count on all friendships lasting forever, any friendship that isn’t nurtured is easily vulnerable to loss. At minimum, make time for a cup of coffee.
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