Till Kids Do Us Part: A BabyCenter.com interview on pregnancy, motherhood and friendship


Every passage of a woman’s life poses unique challenges to her friendships—but pregnancy and motherhood are among the most risky. Pregnant women are notoriously self-centered and moody, traits that can be off-putting even to people who love them.

Also, motherhood is such a huge time-sucker that it greatly reduces (and sometimes eliminates) opportunities to spend relaxed time with friends (or to shave your legs, tweeze your eyebrows, or bathe). Finally, another reason why motherhood can wreck a close friendship: Mothers fall hopelessly in love with their newborns, leaving little emotional space for other people in their lives.

Yet, the value of friendships during every phase of life, especially during pregnancy and motherhood, can’t be measured. Solid friendships provide new moms and moms-to-be with confidence, advice, support and pleasure.

This is why I was delighted to speak with Kristina Sauerwein, who blogs on BabyCenter.com. The name of her Momformation Blog, Balancing Acts, aptly characterizes the life of any new mother who recognizes that she has never juggled quite as many balls as she does now.

The first part of the recently posted interview is called You Were Close Friends and Then You Had Kids.

The second part of the BabyCenter.com interview is entitled, Should You Break Up with Your Friend?

If you are interested in this subject, you may want to glance at a couple of previous related posts on my blog: New Kid on the Block: Mastering the Motherhood-Friendship Mix and Motherhood is a Friendship Killer.

Are you a new mom or mom-to-be with questions or dilemmas about a friendship? Write to me at irene@fracturedfriendships.com and I'll try to answer all of them. 



In reply to: The Other Side

Hi Sophia: I guess I've been on both sides of the coin and being in different spaces with regard to having children and/or grandchildren can create an enormous gulf between two women who might otherwise be close. On the other hand, depending on the people involved, it might not. There are also differences in how close women are to their families (husbands, sisters, etc) and offspring in particular. Sometimes, it feels like you can't break into a closed club. I appreciate your sharing your viewpoint---I do have child-free friends myself. Best, Irene

the other side

Your interview was great, Irene, but the first post about motherhood and friends, and the comments that followed, made me so TENSE. The smug remarks about "clueless" childfree friends just make me want to scream. With a few exceptions, I learned that when my friends had kids, I had to just let them go. I no longer really mattered to them, whether or not I required much of them. I thought they would come back when their kids grew up, but I didn't factor in grandchildren. By that time, I'm so far down the list, it's not worth the effort on my part. Most of my friends are, like me, childfree. I do have a clue. It's just not the clue these women are talking about.

Interesting- although my

Interesting- although my child is now 9 I do think there has been dilution of all of my friendships- just for lack of time!

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