Why women need a circle of friends

Another reason why the fantasy, Best Friends Forever (BFF), isn’t all it’s cracked up to be: When the all-consuming, all-fulfilling, one-and-only female friendship in your life fizzles out or blows up, you’re left in excruciating pain. And there’s no one to talk to or share your misery with. Generally, you would call your Bestie---but she’s the problem!

If you ever have unexpectedly lost a friendship that you were sure would last forever, you must realize that it is always a good idea to encircle yourself with more than just one best friend...

The idea isn’t a new one. Beginning in the late 1800s, Amish women formed quilting circles to share expertise and companionship. After they had finished individual patches for a quilt, they would come together (sometimes over long distances) to lend a hand in piecing them together. The quilters socialized as they sewed, developing long-lasting bonds that became part of the fabric of the Amish culture.

A study published in the American Sociological Review two years ago (June 2006) reported that the circle of close friends held by Americans over the past two decades has shrunk markedly. (This landmark research was the first nationally representative study on this topic over that time period.) During the same period, the researchers found that the number of people who said that had no close confidants had doubled.

What can we do to increase the number of female relationships that nurture and sustain us? Get ready to form a circle: a regular meeting of a group of women who share meet over a shared interest or activity. Here are some ideas:

1) Form a knitting or sewing circle, possibly with a charitable aim.

2) Play canasta, bridge or mah-jongg

3) Take to the links

4) Join a bowling team

5) Create a scrabble club

6) Start a book group

7) Join a cooking club

The options are endless; the chances for starting new friendships are boundless too.