While most friendships have their highs and lows, toxic ones
are characterized by consistent patterns of negativity.
Yet, the signs
of a toxic friendship aren’t always obvious. Women tend to overlook, forgive, and
forget to keep up our friendships---but here are some ways to determine if one
of your friendships may be bad for you, either mentally, physically, or both. Ask yourself:
- Does
scheduling time to see your friend feel like an obligation rather than a
pleasure?
- Do you
ever feel trapped when you are together?
- Do you
feel tense in her presence?
- Does
she often show off at your expense?
- Is she
never reliably there when you need her?
- Is she
self-centered, sneaky, deceitful, or disloyal?
- Does
she have habitually bad judgment?
- Are
you giving more than you’re getting?
- Does
the relationship feel out-of-sync?
- Do you
feel emotionally drained when you are with her?
- Do you
come away from her feeling depressed?
- When
you talk, does it feel like she isn’t listening or just doesn’t get it?
- Do you
dread her phone calls?
- Do you
hate when you see her screen name online when you look at your buddy list?
- Are
her emails too long to read?
- Does
she always choose to spend her time with men, over you, given the
opportunity?
- Has
she flirted with the man in your life?
- Has
she done anything to undermine your position at work?
- Can
you trust her to keep your confidences?
- Has
she betrayed you?
by Irene S. Levine, PhD