I hereby proclaim February 29th, 2008 as the first Make Time for Friends Day. There are no
commercial aspects to the day that you need to worry about. You don’t have to
buy cards, send gifts or spend money. You have received the gift of extra time
and are free to use it wisely. Let me suggest how:
At various times in our lives, we have more or less time and
need for our female friends. Women who are single, divorced, widowed, or
retired tend to have more discretionary time than women who are involved in
marriage, child-rearing or heavily invested in their careers. Of course, most
research looks at groups and talks about averages rather than individuals so
these trends certainly don’t apply to every woman. There are many women who are
married, raising their brood, or working---who are wise enough to make female
friendships a priority in their lives.
However, looking at the trends, you might easily ask: How
will women have any friends when they get divorced, become widowed, or decide
to retire, if they don’t make efforts to maintain those friendships beforehand?
You are absolutely correct in posing that question because research suggests
that single women who forgo marriage are more likely to retain their close friendships
over the long haul. In a recent post on her blog on the The Huffington Post, social psychologist Bella DePaulo and
author of Singled Out states that based on scientific research on loneliness in
later life, “…No group is likely to be less lonely in their senior years than
women who have always been single.”
I think I have one answer to reconcile the gap for those at-risk: This year,
2008, is a leap or intercalary year. That means that an extra day has been
added to the calendar, Friday the 29th, to synchronize the calendar year with
the solar year.
This extra day is a perfect time for Make Time for Friends Day. All you very busy multi-tasking women
(me among them), take out your Blackberry, Palm, or conventional paper daybook
or calendar and give yourself that extra day, February 29th, to catch up with
one or more female friends---old or new--- who you’ve not had time to be with.
Take the leap and do it now! Think about the significance of
friendships to your well-being, physical, emotional, and spiritual---and give
yourself the gift of time with friends. My suspicion is that you may decide
that one day every four years isn’t enough---and that it may become a habit.