In a recent article in the Philadelphia Inquirer, culture critic Jenice Armstrong weighs in on the fractured friendship of Rosie O’Donnell and Elizabeth Hasselback---one woman formerly on, and the other one presently on The View. Now both, former friends. The article by the Philly columnist raises the intriguing question: How much is too much to expect from a friend?
Armstrong’s answer and that of the experts she interviewed: You have to temper your expectations when it comes to friendships.
I agree with their conclusion although it wasn’t the major lesson I took away from this spat. The Rosie-Elizabeth feud became a monster because it took place in the public eye. Each celebrity, both with strong personalities, was concerned about remaining true to her politics, her sense of personal integrity, and her fans. Neither seemed to give a hoot about their friendship, per se.
Once friends cross a certain line, as happened in this case--- where they hurt or humiliate each other deeply, whether public or private, a friendship can never be resurrected to what it once was.
Given the vast differences between the women in terms of their “views,” it is even hard to fathom how close they really could have been in the first place.
Do you think that friendships that are poles apart, for whatever the reason, are particularly vulnerable to falling apart? Can you repair a fractured friendship?
by Irene S. Levine, PhD