Send to Friend

Another way to friend and befriend---Many women (and men) develop solid friendships with people they meet online. That’s the way I met my friend Pat. She lives on the Jersey Shore and I live in Chappaqua, New York but we are both members of the same writing organization, the American Society of Journalists and Authors.

The friendship began when Pat sent me an email asking a question. As you might expect from two people who love to write and who are both somewhat addicted to the internet, one email led to another...

Our correspondence extended for several years as we shared information and insecurities, read each other’s articles, and held each other’s hands as we both (almost simultaneously) began writing our first books. The friendship continued to blossom---both of us bonding as women with one-and-only teenage sons---and we began confiding in one another about more personal topics than our writing. Then we began to call each other every once in a while to catch up. We have watched each other grow as writers, parents, and people.

Our first “blind date” was better than we could have expected. Pat made the two-hour trek to Westchester County so we could meet face-to-face. By that time, it felt like we were longtime friends. It was easy and comfortable. When my father died suddenly in February 2006, Pat was there for me and I hope she feels that I was there for her when one of her two brothers died the next year. We’ve met in Manhattan many times since but not enough.

I wrote this post because I saw a blog post on Stuck in a Book, by blogger Simon Thomas, called E-Friends. The blogger from across the pond wrote: Which e-friend (for want of a better word) have you known the longest? How did you e-meet, and have you met in the Real World? What was it like?

The post and subsequent comments got me thinking about my own experiences. In a busy, multi-tasking world, my asynchronous friendship with Pat has been an anchor that has been amazingly easy to integrate into my life. Simon and his readers have also found that the virtual world is a great way to accrete real friends.

Thank you to Simon’s reader, Ruth, for coining a novel use for the term Mouse Pals! I always thought it was about Mouseketeers but it fits this new use to a tee.