adolescent friendships

A recent article in the Beaufort (Georgia) Gazette caught my eye. Seems like the ancient rite of teenage girls becoming blood sisters isn’t exactly dead….although it almost turned deadly.

The news report told a tale of two drunken girls, ages 16 and 17, from Hilton Head, who tried “to consecrate their newfound friendship by becoming blood sisters.” One of them ended up in the local emergency room with a deep gash on her hand that was bleeding profusely. Apparently, the girls used a knife to seal the deal and “miscalculated.” With the threat of HIV and hepatitis these days, I wouldn’t recommend the practice even if they were sober!

Admittedly---In the days of innocence, before BFF necklaces and BFF bracelets, my buddy and next-door neighbor Anita Klansky and I wanted to signal our status as best friends. I was an only-child at the time and Anita only had a brother. So one day after school, we borrowed a needle from my mom’s sewing basket and each pricked our pointer fingers. Then we pressed the tips with traces of bright red blood up against one another and promised to be blood sisters forever. We were---until Anita’s dad got a job out-of-state a few years later and she moved away.

The rite is somewhat akin to its male counterpart, blood brothers: Two males, unrelated by birth, who swear loyalty to one another in a blood oath that involves the co-mingling of blood. The roots of the blood oath can be traced back to a Norse myth called Orvar-Odd’s saga, which also later was adopted in different forms by Asian and Native American tribal cultures.

WikiHow prescribes a more contemporary and non-invasive approach to the ritual for young girls:

1. Decide your soul color (the color that matches your personality).
2. Buy markers that are similar (or the same) as your soul color.
3. Quickly mark your finger with your soul color.
4. Have your soon-to-be sis color her finger with her soul color.
5. Press fingers together and say "I pledge to be your sister forevermore".

Another alternative for grown-up women as we herald in the New Year: Invite your Bestie (or Besties) to share a champagne toast and tell her how much her friendship means to you.

 

Transitioning from one school to another is always nerve-wracking for children and their parents but friendships can help ease the way. A new study of 600 children and 80 parents in the UK suggests that children who are separated from their friends as they move from elementary to secondary schools are “inherently more vulnerable.” These children are more likely to lose solid friendships and feel less confident, and are more prone to bullying.

 

However, when children move with siblings or with other friends, their transition is made easier because friends and siblings provide social support and “insider information” that helps them better navigate new waters. The four-year project conducted by Dr. Susie Weller and Irene Bruegel from London South Bank University was funded by the Economic and Social Research Council (ESRC).

 

According to a press release from the Council, the benefits of childhood friendships are too often overlooked or placed in a negative light. “They [social theorists] have focused on the ‘youth problem’ - describing peer group interaction as having a negative affect on educational attainment and associated with destructive activities such as membership of a gang,” said Dr. Weller. "This often means that relationships such as friendship are sidelined, and little attention has been given to the positive and constructive resources and experiences such networks can provide."

 

Thanks to Sophia Casey, Age 9, for the beautiful picture of Best Friends. 

 

There is a lot to learn about friendships from what has been called the "largest-ever global survey" of how kids interact with digital technology. MTV and Nickelodeon, in association with Microsoft Digital Advertising Solutions, used both quantitative and qualitative methodologies to talk to 18,000 “tech-embracing” kids (ages 8-14) and young people (14-24) in 16 countries.

The findings from the Circuits of Cool/Digital Playground study found...

The findings of a recent study by Amanda Rose and colleagues at the University of Missouri-Columbia challenge the conventional wisdom that it’s always good for adolescent girls to get problems “off their chest” by talking about them to close friends...

How do we decide whom we choose as friends?

Findings from a new study at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) School of Medicine, funded by the National Institutes of Health, suggests that our choice of friends may be genetic.

“As we grow and move out of our own home environment, our genetically influenced temperament becomes more and more important in influencing the kinds of friends we like to hang out with,” says Dr. Kendler. “The study shows how genetic and family environmental factors influence the ways in which we create our own social environment as we grow.”...

Preliminary findings of a British study suggest that today’s teens are far less likely to have a best friend than teens of twenty years ago. In 1986, one in eight 16-year-olds said they had NO best friend whom they trusted; in 2006, that proportion rose to one in five...