blogs

In a recent post on her Psychology Today blog, research psychologist Dr. Bella DePaulo, author of Singled Out, raises the issue of what it means to be “just friends.”

Unlike marriage (and same-sex unions in some States), friends have no legal ties to one another. Unlike siblings, they have no blood ties. Yet one of the most unique and defining characteristics of a friendship is that it is a totally voluntary relationship that exists simply because two people “just” want to be friends.

Ironically: “Friends are marginalized as ‘just’ friends,” writes DePaulo. “Now that Americans spend more years of their adult lives single than married, friendship is more important than it used to be,” she adds. “As family size decreases, so, too, do options for family care in old age or any other age - fewer people have siblings or adult children to care for them (or if they do, those family members may live many miles away). Again, it is friends who come to the rescue.”

Whether single or married, it is often difficult for women to strike the right balance between their friendships, family ties, careers, and needs for time alone. Yet DePaulo’s remarks remind us that---in sickness and in health, for better or for worse---it’s always a treasure to be surrounded by strong, caring female friendships.

My writer friend, Kathy Sena, has an award-winning blog called Parent Talk Today. She recently interviewed me for a post on the topic of mommy friendships. Click here to see the post, which discusses several ways for multi-tasking moms to make new friendships. While "'mommy friendships" can pose challenges, sharing the experience of parenting with other women also presents opportunities to forge close female friendships that can last a lifetime.

Coincidentally, my friend Diana is coming for a sleepover tonight on route from Washington, DC to drop her daughter, Nikki, off at college. We first bonded as we worked out the kinks of breastfeeding while we were both on maternity leave from work.

Anyway, check out Kathy's excellent blog!