Till Kids Do Us Part: A interview on pregnancy, motherhood and friendship


Every passage of a woman’s life poses unique challenges to her friendships—but pregnancy and motherhood are among the most risky. Pregnant women are notoriously self-centered and moody, traits that can be off-putting even to people who love them.

Also, motherhood is such a huge time-sucker that it greatly reduces (and sometimes eliminates) opportunities to spend relaxed time with friends (or to shave your legs, tweeze your eyebrows, or bathe). Finally, another reason why motherhood can wreck a close friendship: Mothers fall hopelessly in love with their newborns, leaving little emotional space for other people in their lives.

Yet, the value of friendships during every phase of life, especially during pregnancy and motherhood, can’t be measured. Solid friendships provide new moms and moms-to-be with confidence, advice, support and pleasure.

This is why I was delighted to speak with Kristina Sauerwein, who blogs on The name of her Momformation Blog, Balancing Acts, aptly characterizes the life of any new mother who recognizes that she has never juggled quite as many balls as she does now.

The first part of the recently posted interview is called You Were Close Friends and Then You Had Kids.

The second part of the interview is entitled, Should You Break Up with Your Friend?

If you are interested in this subject, you may want to glance at a couple of previous related posts on my blog: New Kid on the Block: Mastering the Motherhood-Friendship Mix and Motherhood is a Friendship Killer.

Are you a new mom or mom-to-be with questions or dilemmas about a friendship? Write to me at and I'll try to answer all of them. 



2007: The Year of BFF


If you ask me, 2007 was the year that the term Best Friends Forever (BFF) was so over-used and inappropriately-used by the media that its meaning became trivialized and misunderstood.

A few memorable examples:

Hillary Clinton and Katie Couric were labeled BFFs on the basis of posing for a photograph together at a fundraiser for children’s mental health. (See my earlier blog entry)

Onstar and General Motors were declared former BFFs because GM introduced Bluetooth to its line of cars

Parents who bought their children tickets to the Hannah Montana concert in Cincinnatti were called BFFs

A column headline by NY Times opinion columnist Gail Collins called presidential-candidate Rudy and his infamous friend Bernie BFFs

An unforgettable and over-played commercial for Cingular cell phones mocked the iconic term, showed a granny named Rose texting her BFF.

A Spongebob episode showed Spongebob and Patrick pledging to be BFFs

A quick peek on Amazon lists board books, craft books, and Holly Hobbie paperbacks--all named BFF---aimed at little girls as young as four-years-old!

Here are my suggestions for bringing restored meaning and legitimacy to the term in 2008:

  • Don’t use BFF when you speak about inanimate objects or corporations [unless you are using proper acronyms for the Bhubaneswar Film Festival (BFF) or the Bangladesh Football Federation (BFF)]
  • Don’t inappropriately use the term BFF to convey exclusivity. You can actually have more than one BFF and many women do.
  • Be careful using BFF with little girls. Little girls are more likely to have a best friend of the moment. As women age, their commitment to their BFFs becomes stronger.
  • Little girls and big ones need to realize that most friendships aren’t always forever. Even a close friendship that feels like a BFF today is likely to be fleeting more often than not.

Everyone has a best friend during each stage of life but only a precious few have the same one. – Author unknown

May you find and nurture warm and close female friendships in 2008 and may some of them turn into long-lasting ones!


The evolution of friendship in a digital age

Some people worry that digital technology is eroding the face of friendship as we now know it---that time spent in virtual relationships detracts from real ones. A new report provides evidence to the contrary. Among Americans:

  • 48 percent of those interviewed said that social networking sites help them build new relationships
  • 44 percent said that social networking sites help them maintain current relationships

This social effect cuts across age groups:...

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